Humor

Bachelor of the Week: Kamp Gary

By Colin Nicoletti ’23

Ladies- it’s that time again, our Bachelor of the Week has been selected, and boy do we have a stud in store for you. You may have heard his name tossed around at pep rallies, in the news folder when he has lost his phone (a few times), or maybe he’s even DMed you before. The man himself, Kamp Gary. 

Kamp is a WFS senior, member of the varsity football team (confirmed by WFSPN), and an all-around ladies man. He describes himself as humorous, charming, and philosophical. Who wouldn’t want to go on a date with this kind of guy? He can be a partner who is fun to be around, be social, take his lady friend on some fun dates, and offer support to her. Dating is something Kamp really enjoys. His ideal first date would be something simple. He would want to go to either his or his date’s house, order some food in, and watch a horror movie, during which he would show plenty of “affection.” How romantic, Kamp! For a second date, he would perhaps take a girl out on his boat, and he added that “if there was a place with a bunch of geese or ducks, I would take her there.”

During our interview, Robbie Handelsmen ‘23 threw out the idea that Kamp could compare himself to a movie star. A few names were thrown around like Channing Tatum or Zach Effron, the type that the girls love. Kamp hastily rejected those comparisons. He then proposed that he was more of a “Ryan Gosling kind of guy,” claiming that he was “a bit more sensitive than Channing Tatum.”

Before you get too excited, you should know that Kamp has a very high standard for girls. He has been in two relationships where, as he puts it, “the spark just wasn’t there. It wasn’t fun, or entertaining,” so Kamp wants to make sure a girl is “the one” before he dives into something serious with her. His picture of an “ideal” girl for him would be someone who is funny, who shares his interests, someone “easy on the eyes,” and obviously she should have some depth in her personality. While talking about his ideal first date, Kamp added that if a girl responds to how the movie was with “yeah, it’s good, or some straight, unintelligent answer like that, she’s not the girl for me.”

If you’re just dying to get in touch with Kamp, have no fear, he is an easy man to reach. The many ways of contacting Kamp include:

  • Any app/website designed for dating (I.E. Tinder, Bumble, Match.com, EliteSingles, OkCupid, the list goes on…)
  • Follow Kamp on instagram @Kamp_Gary, and he will DM you
  • Have a brother at WFS (He will get in touch with you)

Ladies, Kamp is a real keeper. I urge you all to get in touch with him as soon as possible, even if you might not meet his super high standards. He can see the light in anyone, and he would treat his girlfriend extremely well. 

Categories: Humor