By Robbie Handelsman ’23
What can’t Matt Leverette do? He likes to cook, draw, watch and play soccer. How can a man of so many talents not have a girlfriend?
On an ideal first date, Matt would want to go to any restaurant that can prepare a decent steak and have live sports to watch. Beware, however, if Arsenal is playing he might break the TV. He hopes to find a girl that is as tall or shorter than he is. Since Matt hasn’t hit his growth spurt yet, he has had a tough time finding a girl that he can “see eye to eye with.” Additionally, Matt wants a girl that shares his love for soccer, and someone who likes to crack jokes as much as he does.
In his words, Matt is an ideal boyfriend because he’ll give a girl compliments like, “you aren’t the ugliest person I’ve ever seen,” or “You don’t make me want to tear my eyeballs out.” Clearly, Matt is a womanizer and smooth operator.
For all of the ladies out there looking for somebody that is good at FIFA and a varsity athlete with a love for sports, just take a look at Matthew Leverette.
Categories: Humor
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