Santa’s Sack: What will Santa leave under the tree for the class of 2016?

Robert Singleton ’16 and Caleb Rogers ’16

iPhone Image 9392DCRichmond Adams- more busses to Chatham Hall for mixers
Wyatt Alexander- a full “frat” scholarship at Alabama
Spencer Andrews- more frisbees
Evan Backer- someone to ask how his grades are
Ford Beazley- 4.0 GPA
Austen Billingsley- Guldin’s job
Ford Boney- a Maserati
Billy Boyle- US Citizenship
Thompson Brock- Cam Newton sweat rag
Taylor Brower- country day cheerleader bid
Patrick Burke- Coca-Cola
Sam Carter- a Pulitzer Prize in PoetryiPhone Image 938D5F
Jackson Case- lax pinnies
Adrian Cheung- Average Joes to be replaced with ASL
Brian Cho- his Average Joes team to be better
Jack Claiborne- Tina
Edwin Clement- more sleep
Walker Comer- varsity wrestling
Banks Cozart- more time with William Rich
Felix Culmer- King of Richmond
Owen Dankworth- King of freestyle superlative
Mikey Davenport- Hokie gearmikey
Ben Debnam- anything to do with pig farming, corn, and Colorado
Cole Dickinson- to never leave “the ville”
Chapman Dossett- Total Handelsman Move twitter page
Edo Douglass- more scooters
Robert Edwards- Fig 8
Lisle Elliman- Delaware to be known as a state
Peter Ellis- Average Joes Championship ring
Holden Fockler- “HA CHEA” trademark
Brendan Foster- midnight river trips
Teddy Garner- Gucci loafers
Graham Goldstein- Hearne’s approval
Spencer Goodwin- Jordan Silbermanspencer:jordan
Ryan Grady- more protein
Stephen Guo- to trademark “let’s guo”
David Gussler- people to like Kentucky
Henry Hartmann- people to like Ohio
Whit Hathaway- to get off A Dorm
Darby Henagan- to flip benches
Mac Hereford- Saban to call him “son”
Jose Hernandez- people to know he’s from NCmac:saban
Sam Hillhouse- no more squash workouts
Andrew Holmes- everyone to “grow up”
Richie Humble- another sink
William Hunt- William and Mary
Bolling Izard- Scotland trip with roomie
Daniel Japhet- another Nicaraguan friend
Robin Jin- faster tennis serve
Lionel Johnson- no winter
Parker Jones- no juniors in the library
Robin Kay- Nebraska to go all the wayeli
Jimmy King- soccer balls
Peter Knade- ice cream 😉
Wilson Legg- U of R QB#1
Iain Leggit- more gun control
Eli Levy- no more swimming
Richard Madden- a spot on the football team but not have to play
Patrick McDonald- Mellen back
Garrett McKee- 5 minute classes
Mack McMillian- make varsity basketball
Justin Mitchell- more bikes
Chase Monroe- new lax twig
Tommy Mulry- Patrick’s ND offer
Tuan Anh Nguyen- not sure
Andy Park- perfect SAT score
Bo Pettegrew- more twitter followersbo twitter
John Pittman- Woodberry’s old ways
William Poole- legalize coffee makers
Logi Portugal- off dowd house
Oliver Postic- to watch all the Arsenal games with Mr. Jacobs
Rob Prater- another Dance Marathon
Thomas Radke- honeybuns on honeybuns
Garnett Reid- oysters
Evans Riviere- Bo Jackson
Gray Robertson- for Woodberry to move to “The Brook”
Zach Roderick- one more shot at the goons
Caleb Rogers- to kick it with Fidel Castrospencer:jordan
Jack Sari- people to accept that he is Publius
Bo Sheridan- time at the Gap
Jordan Silberman- Spencer Goodwin
Shep Sims- more tinder dates
Robert Singleton- to be taller than his brother
Win Sompayrac- for Terry to stop being so wild
Nick Switzer- to actually live in Charlottesvillejim
Jared Thalwitz- tea
Roy Toston- wrestling morning practice
Diego Valenzuela- a spot on “Narcos”
William von Hassell- a fight with Mulry
Harry Ware- more time with Spotty
Jim Welsh- better hair
David Williams- thinner neck
David Willis- more Talon submissions
Keeling Wood- another flashlight
Clark Yarbrough- the NFL

Categories: Humor

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